Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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