I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
