WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
