We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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