He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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