I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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