you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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