Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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