Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I party with great urgency now.
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