someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
