Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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