every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
