Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
