He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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