What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
