North Korea, Best Korea!
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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