Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
