I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
