Your mouth is God's brothel.
we made out on top of his cat.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
