dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
