How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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