If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
