It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
