After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
