Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
