He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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