that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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