Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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