You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
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She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
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It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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