Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
