Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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