I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we're making bets on your personal life
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
