He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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