Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i wish my penis had a tongue
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
