Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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