is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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