Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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