i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
