a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I need to stop coming to work sober
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Who died my cat blue again?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize