I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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