I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
