yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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