Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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