your parents love me but you hate me
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
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