he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We left the knife in your bed.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
