I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize