Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize