do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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