You're my little dorito
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
