I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
soo... how was my night?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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