Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
