Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
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