when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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