I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
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