dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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