Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
