Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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