brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
