do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
