Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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