She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
