It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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