At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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