Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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