What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
