Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
