Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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